No, you are not such a great teacher you turned all your students into geniuses in one week...

Learning Experience: Remember to remove the current vocabulary words from the word wall and erase the root word definitions from the white board BEFORE giving the tests!

"Fact Drop"

One student bangs his shin on a table, another student asks "Did that hurt?"

Wincing, the student rubbed his leg and said, "Well, not as much as it hurt the Incas when they did brain surgery without any anesthesia."


This is from a textbook, but I would give massive bonus points if I heard this in my classroom! We've been studying figurative language and idioms, and I've told them if they catch me using an idiom I'll give them a ticket (redeemable for candy or a lottery for privileges); I've also passed out tix for actually using the vocabulary words they study all week, or for identifying a root in a new word I use.

On the other hand, I have told them they will lose every privilege in the book for the rest of the year if they make me laugh while taking a drink, especially when standing over the desk of a classmate, which did almost happen. I can just imagine the parent/principal/never-to-be-employed-student-teacher meeting for that one...

why be nervous?

My university supervisor came in for her first visit, and I choked. Not literally, although that would have been a lesson the students would remember for a long time ("dude, did you see his face turn blue?!?!?"), but as I introduced the lesson I jumped in 3 or 4 steps beyond where my lesson plan said I would and uttered several more ums and uhs per minute than acceptable. I did recover nicely, if I do say so myself, and the rest of the lesson went well. The students got a little antsy and the volume went up (so say her official supervisor notes) but it was just before recess...

I need to power up the video camera this weekend so I can see myself teach. I'm sure I'll be appalled -- does the camera really add 20 lbs? and increase forehead depth by several inches? and cause that tie to really clash with that shirt?

...

MT out again Mon and Tues, so I'm desperately reading many science chapters to review/prepare the class for a test Tues, and introducing "Mini-Society" as well, which sounds cool. Wonder if I can convince them to name me Supreme Dictator for Life?

smarter than a 5th grader?

passed along from my smartest friend and his Math Teacher wife:

There are 7 girls in a bus. Each girl has 7 backpacks. In each backpack, there are 7 big cats. For every big cat, there are 7 little cats. The bus driver is not on the bus at this time.

Question: How many legs are there in the bus?

This is not a trick question (easy for him to say...), it is a real math problem, so "a bus doesn't have legs" is not any part of the answer.

any ideas?

When I copy/re-write anything like this, especially up on the white board in front of the class, I get OCD/paranoid I'm spelling words wrong, or omitting a word, or accidentally spelling some word I'll get calls from the parents about -- for example, do not abbreviate "after school session" !

Not proud of myself...

...but I suppose it had to happen sooner or later: made my first student cry today.

I didn't try to, and I wish he wouldn't have, but he did. And of course I caved, reduced the punishment and gave him the second chance speech. Whatta wimp.

Not only, that, but those little germ-mongers have me coughing upa lung and going to bed early.

paychecks a-comin' !

Kind and wonderful MT let me take a break from classroom life today to go fill out the paperwork for sub-hood. Now, when she is gone for the next 3 days I'll get paid to do what I was doing with a sub getting paid to not do what I was doing.

I think.

Anyway, just home from class and picking up Son #1 at practice, and MUST write clear and beautiful lesson plans for tomorrow since my University Supervisor is coming out for her first visit... aaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!

quick notes: aren't 5th graders supposed to know who was who in the American Revolution? or at least know what side George Washington was on? how is it possible to have 1 classmate weigh 57 lbs and his buddy 179? they look like entirely different species...

I AM in charge here!

That, class, was much better. Thank you.

On my own again today, except for the sub getting paid to watch me for signs of helplessness...

it's apparent, either due to my teaching style (if I'm allowed to have one yet) or my lack of experience, that I allow the class to get a bit more talkative than MT and her former student teacher/today's sub are accustomed to; I encourage discussion once in awhile, not just hands in the air, and I think it takes time to train a class to adjust volumes to the right level and learn to have more open discussions. In the meantime, I have a sub shushing "my" class as I'm attempting to have a conversation. grrrr...

My struggle has been more with the clock than the chatting, so in my outline/notes for the day has times listed in BOLD RED when each topic and event is supposed to start, end, be at the 1/2 way point, 2 minute warning, 30 seconds late, etc, etc. It worked out almost perfect today, the only subject that got squeezed a little short was Math, and who really needs math these days anyway...

reading list

btw, found a great book, especially if you like 6 page long lists of homonyms! I have barely cracked the spine but already know it will be on my desk for a long time...

The Reading Teacher's Book of Lists

the blue-footed what?!?!?!?

So is this a joke you veteran teachers like to pull on the rookies, sort of like sending an employee to find the "room stretcher" or sending the scouts out on a midnight snipe hunt? I had the struggling readers, complete with mini-gang member and adhd not-stop talker girl, for a small reading group: no problem. Ah, but you couldn't let it be that easy. I had the struggling readers, complete with mini-gang boy and adhd non-stop talker girl, for a small reading group ON A STORY ABOUT THE BLUE-FOOTED BOOBY AND ITS MATING HABITS: problem.

Thanks.

Those jelly-like blobs convulsing with giggles on the floor distracting everyone else in the 5th grade? Yep, my reading group.

Obviously, MT's sick day (last Tuesday) so completely obliterated me I'm just now recovering...

actually, it wasn't that bad. The substitute, the official teacher that got paid for the day while I did all the work, was very supportive and helpful and thanked me for the easiest sub job he'd had (although he did not offer to send me part of his paycheck). He was fairly new as well, so we brainstormed a bit as to what we could have done as the class got incrementally louder and louder. Praise ______* it was a half day!

It was just one of those days where things popped up that weren't on the day's schedule (Library Day! Pass out new weekly packets Day!) and that threw everything out of synch. Interesting that MT didn't ask for a recap the next day, but between still being sick and preparing for the District Superintendent's visit on Thurs, I wasn't high on her priority list. Which was good, in that I could help more with classroom operations, grading and organizing and helping individ students, so I feel more in the flow of the class. I still have issues with the clock, never remembering when recess is or reading groups or whatever...




*just who is the god/goddess/patron saint of teachers?

I'm in charge here!

(cue maniacal laughter and fiendish control-the-world hand wringing)

MT is going to be out sick tomorrow, so who's the man? I'm the man!

Of course there will be a paid sub sitting at the corner desk judging my every blunder, but for all intent and purpose it's my class tomorrow! I'm feeling a bit more pressure than a regular sub job, since I'll be standing right there when the teacher comes back on Wednesday and the students all give their reports.

Maybe I should bring candy for bribes...

Ummm... anyone have a copy of Katie's Trunk I can borrow?

I'm teaching it on Tuesday, but 2 libraries and 4 bookstores later, I haven't read it yet.

It looks like I'm in charge of most of the Language Arts; not really "in charge" since we're following the HoutMiff program and Master Teacher's years and years of prior lesson notes, but she is letting me do most of the teaching. Morning activity, main lesson, grammar group, spelling tests...

I also have several bulletin boards to do... is this in my job description?

odds and ends from the first "full" week:

1. I think I'm going to love teaching.
2. Oh man, do I wish I was getting paid for this.
3. 5th graders really, really should brush their teeth well every morning before school. Twice.
4. How big is the crate the Math materials come in? There's a several edition volume for the teacher, a reference book, a skill book, a worksheet book...
5. There could be two clocks on every wall and my Flava Flav edition watch on my wrist and I still would have no idea what time it is...
6a. There is a brief occurance of pure stillness, a moment as close to peace and calm one can find this side of the Pearly Gates, every afternoon at 2:51 as the last student leaves the classroom.
6b. There is a similar moment of stillness every morning, in that last second before the bell rings, but instead of peace it is filled with anticipation-- the same sense of anticipation I assume one feels right before a Great White shark attacks. Or more precisely, 30 Great White sharks attack.